Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
