I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You're my little dorito
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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