How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
