DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
