8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
someone owes me an orgasm
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
