Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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