You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
