Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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