please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
