I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
