CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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