you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
