he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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