these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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