I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
