We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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