So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
FUCK WHALES
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
