You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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