How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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