woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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