How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
