as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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