mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
