If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
