I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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