Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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