okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
