Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't think brook has ever known best
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
