i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
