never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
