Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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