idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Bring me that man meat
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize