we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize