It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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