I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
