Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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