Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone signed my nipple.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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