you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize