Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
