Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
