blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My feet surprised me
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
