We won't sleep together?
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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