before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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