I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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