last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.