I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.