The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?