what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i think i just lost a toe