I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just gift wrapped bread.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize