just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick