The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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