I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
