hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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