Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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