u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
