She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
