i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
