So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
