Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
