She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
