if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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