All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
