bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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