There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize