I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
