please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My dick has a subreddit
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
