I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
