and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
