So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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