I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
